Sunday, August 29, 2010

the yellow breezes . . .of poetry

Many school visits of late and treks around the suburbs and hills reminds me that our native wattle is such a great emblem. What varieties and what blazes of colour.

During my school sessions, I often began using an iddy-biddy poem of mine about wattle. Because it related to the current season, I thought it might help kids become more aware of their environment.

Also it was a fun, interactive way to begin.

The whole poem is:

Yellow breezes

bring the sneezes

all from fluffy, wattle, treeses.

I wrote all but the last three words on the board and left the kids curious, while I talked about yellow breezes. Can we see breezes? Can we see the wind? If not, what can we see? And why a colour breeze? At that point some worked out that wattle trees were somehow involved. I then spoke about choosing the right words for the job. How to tighten the line of a poem by connecting only two main words to create a word picture.

We then moved on to bring the sneezes; the meaning of which they worked out fairly easily. Then rhyme was mentioned.

The last part was interesting. We tapped or clapped the rhythm of the whole poem and I emphasised that we’d need words that were consistent with that pattern. What words could we use? What would be appropriate to the context of the poem? If they gave me a one syllable word, for example, fun, I wrote it up, and read the last line using that word, so the children could hear the difference in beat, before asking for another suggestion. I urged them also to consider the meaning of the poem.

Finally they completed the first two words, fluffy and wattle, but became stuck on the last word. I talked about playing with words and how you can make up words as long as the meaning is not too obscure. When someone offered treeses, there was a mixture of reactions. Some children latched on quickly, others not so fast. But lots of, ‘Ahh! I get it’ or ‘I was going to say that!’

I write both rhyming and non-rhyming poetry, but through this little poem I was able to talk about quite a number of aspects of writing; keeping it tight and simple, using spare, important adjectives, and breaking a rule or two - just for fun!

14 comments:

  1. LOL Enjoyed this post, Janeen. It was almost like being that proverbial fly on the wall. Love the work, treeses! Reminded me of the way Gollum spoke in Lord of the Rings. Yes, there are definitely times to breaks them rules!

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  2. I love this idea too. I think sometimes we try to do too much with kids and writing, but you kept it simple and allowed them to decide, to get there themselves and have that aha! moment.

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  3. Brilliant Janeen! The KISS principle is certainly the way to go.

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  4. Ah I am learning at the feet of a master!

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  5. Thanks Sheryl. Some children's eyes lit up with delight when they realised that treeses was a word you could use. It's silly. That's why they love it.

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  6. Hi Book Chook, I liked the simplicity of it too.
    Thanks.

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  7. Hi Sandy,
    the feet of a master??!! Too generous by a branch, a twig, a stem, a leaf!

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  8. Love the post, Janeen,

    So simple, but such a fun thing to do...and so evocative and relevant to the time of year.

    I'm definitely one for breaking rules, too:-)

    Dee

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  9. Thanks Dee.
    For me, it's especially the language rules; where new/mixed-up words assume such exciting new flavours.

    Janeen

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  10. Yes to rule-breaking! Claire Richards and I ran some sessions together for Book Week where we got the kids to mime throwing the rules out the window. Then we got stuck into the creative stuff.

    Marianne (who spent her childhood climbing treeses)

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  11. Marianne, I love the sound of the miming! I'll bet the children loved that! And lucky you, who spent your childhood climbing treeses.

    Janeen

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  12. Lovely Janeen. Playing with wordses is the bestest fun.
    Claire

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  13. Hi Claire. Great comment!!

    Nice being back?

    Janeen

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